HP ZBook 17 question - Help

I just got a Zbook 17 for school and it runs fine, honestly.
I have no actual complaints aside from the tons of ports and it's thickness, but nuance.
What I want to know is how to configure the really cumbersome trackpad/mouse it has on it.
There's an article on it from this same website here.
Basically, the mouse has six keys and it's a bit on the obnoxious side, but what I want to do is be able to configure the mouse so that I can choose what key is my left/right click, because the middle click is driving me insane, honestly. Sure, it could be something you need to get used to, but--and I don't mean to brag or anything--I have tiny hands!
Reaching over for left/right is such a hassle and I swear my index finger just cramps from having to reach over constantly to the left click.
Seeing that I'm going to be using this computer hopefully for years--call it an investment, I feel like I should be allowed to calibrate the buttons.
Thing is, I haven't found where to do so, and when I find the options for the mouse, it shows it only has two buttons in the demo videos.
Can anyone tell me where to find this, if it even exists?
Like really, I just want to switch the middle button my right or left click.
I can live without the middle click.

 

Do you have the Synaptics driver installed for the touchpad? If you do then you should see a "Device Settings" tab in the Mouse control panel that lets you configure the touchpad and pointstick and their buttons. In the Synaptic control panel each subsection will have a picture of little gears that you must click on to get further configuration options.

This article is pretty out of date (the control panel looks much different now), but it shows the general idea of adjusting the settings that are available: http://h20566.www2.hp.com/portal/site/hpsc/template.PAGE/public/kb/docDisplay/?sp4ts.oid=3688868&spf_p.tpst=kbDocDisplay&spf_p.prp_kbDocDisplay=wsrp-navigationalState%3DdocId%253Demr_na-c01876141-9%257CdocLocale%253D%257CcalledBy%253D&javax.portlet.begCacheTok=com.vignette.cachetoken&javax.portlet.endCacheTok=com.vignette.cachetoken

It is kind of hard to walk through the exact location to go right now as I don't have windows installed, but I am sure that there is an option in there that can disable the button action for any of the buttons.

 

Do you have the Synaptics driver installed for the touchpad? If you do then you should see a "Device Settings" tab in the Mouse control panel that lets you configure the touchpad and pointstick and their buttons. In the Synaptic control panel each subsection will have a picture of little gears that you must click on to get further configuration options.

This article is pretty out of date (the control panel looks much different now), but it shows the general idea of adjusting the settings that are available: HP Support document - HP Support Center

It is kind of hard to walk through the exact location to go right now as I don't have windows installed, but I am sure that there is an option in there that can disable the button action for any of the buttons.